June 15, 2006
No one tells you when you're buying a house (condo) in a "community" slash "development" that you are actually purchasing a prison cell. The whole house purchase is glorified, and the 9000 paged "association rule book" isn't even presented to you until settlement. It's like not reading the fine print...except in this situation, you don't have a choice. Even luckier for me the big-wig president of said association (although i haven't actually witnessed any "associating" going on) lives right above me. And so, if and when I break a rule, he knows. He's like my watcher. Or my babysitter. Or, in accordance with my prior metaphor, my personal prison guard.
Apparently, in 1912 when these pointless rules were written, people were slightly (euphemism) stereotypical... No pickup trucks to be parked in the common area. No cigarrettes to be smoked in the common area.
Right, because clearly, smokers in pickup trucks are just too dirty for the "ever-so-classy" Owings Mills. But go ahead condo association, stick with your old fashioned rules to block out these "filthy people" but turn off my outdoor water so I can't even wash my porch.
Oh, and did I mention what is considered to be "common area" per binder-o-rules? MY PORCH! So feel free, all you trespassers out there, to come to my house, and hop on over to my porch, because according to Condo Association Rule Book section 473, page 8999, anyone is welcome there. Unless of course you drive a pickup truck. Or smoke...
Are you freaking kidding me!?
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