August 7, 2006
Rumor has it that girl in Owings Mills, MD remains unattached...with only days until her 25th birthday. Read the whole true story below...
Right. So you won't find the rest of the story here. This is just how I picture the lead of my sob story to be written...
I did not realize that being 25 and single was an actual issue. But to my surprise, being single at 25 is a wretched tragedy. Below are 3 ways to recognize that just because you're fine with your independance does not mean the rest of the world is going to take it sitting down...
Family Woes
My grandmother has previously offered to pay for, and even once signed me up against my will, for online dating websites. Don't worry...in time I set her straight and convinced her that this is not the way to meet a future mate. After the last horror story about...we'll call him "X" for privacy purposes, and his sterotypical comments about my Iranian father...I think I've fought my last battle. But this doesn't keep her from cutting out "singles events" from the local newspaper and dropping them discreetly in my bag before I leave her house.
She's also has the tendancy to pass out my phone number to people like her real estate agent and accountant. I thank god or whoever is up there every day that they didn't call. I'm pretty sure my grandmother's genuine but desparate attempt to pimp me out doesn't speak well to those receiving the digits.
An Increase In "the question."
You know, the one where you bump into someone you haven't seen in 473 years, and the first thing they thing to ask is "Have you met anyone yet?" Family's good thanks for asking. House is lovely. My health is on track. Job is perfect. Oh wait, you just want to hear about how I still don't have a boyfriend? I see, thanks so much for caring person that I haven't seen in years and frankly don't care to ever see again. When I was 12, you didn't ask me that. And when I was 18, you didn't seem so worried when I answered "No."
Excess Email Baggage
Then there's good old email. The increase in online dating website offers has been astounding just over the last few weeks. Cupid.com offered me 3 months for the price of 1. Really? And besides...should I be confident in joining a website that thinks it will take 3 months to find me a boyfriend? I continue to be stalked by jdate, match.com, and the ever-so-popular (and provider of "X") eharmony.com. It's even moved on to direct mail, as I know receive strange articles, with live stamps, in mysterious white envelopes about alternate dating services. If this wasn't an exact representation of the work that I do, I would bad mouth all direct mail marketers right now...
No comments:
Post a Comment