Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A Secret Road To Fortune & Fame?

March 28, 2007

Every couple months, me and a group of my girl friends plan to get together to catch up on our lives since high school. For them, it's a great way to get a girls night away from their husbands/boyfriends, and for me, it's a way to just get away. Anyway, while at CPK a few weeks back, we got on the topic of "The Secret." Basically, the secret is - believe it, think it, feel it, see it, and, IT will happen. I, personally, stood alone in my belief that this is all a load of crap. This sparred a heated topic about whether or not this was true, and, how it might be a good idea for one or all of us to test it.

I don't know about the others, but I've figured out how I'm going to test "The Secret". I've talked about writing a book for years, and recently decided that it's really a logical way to become rich on the side or my absolute and terribly sad poredom. Duh. Become a best-selling author.

I've given myself 6 months from today to complete my book, and another 6 months to find a publisher. So, in a nutshell, I'm saying that one year from today, I will have a book in the process of being published. And if that means convincing Bill Bonner, owner of the financial, health, and travel publishing company I work for, to add a "Fluff" publishing division, then so be it.

But, for the sake of hoping to dis-prove my original hypothesis about "The Secret", I am picturing my book in the windows of Barnes & Noble Bookstore's everywhere, with a pretty little "Bestseller" sticker on the cover.

With my advertising and marketing background, I know its never too soon to start the buzz about said topic. So, consider this my first of many plugs...it will be easier to get on the bestseller list if I can call you, reader, a buyer.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

March 14, 2007

Although my very first blog was written on the topic, I've really tried to resist a follow-up. So, instead of devoting this entry to just one follow up, I think I will update a few.

Here goes...

an update to Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...

I last left you with my decision to leave Scott for Sam. Well, I tell ya, Sam had me at hello. Corbin, a nice little salon on University Parkway, was about 45 minutes closer than my previous venture. It was also a little ritzier. I joked (although not joking at all), while 70-year-old women looking younger than me arrived for their bi-weekly standing appointments, that I was the white-trash of the salon. Anyway, Sam, a colorful man, entertained me with his love for Mariah Carey and his hatred for Clay Aiken (gasp.) He also LOVED to cut/style long hair, which finally, for me, was beneficial. It seems most stylists are more entertained by the short haired women and their funky selves. I saw Sam only three times. The week before our fourth planned-ahead date, I got a phone call that he was no longer with the salon. Needless to say, I ran back in the arms of Scott. My safety. He's not going anywhere, and for now, neither am I.

an update to Pick A Card, Any Card...

Remember Savetta? Well, I was starting to forget her, so last weekend, I returned for a second visit. This time, rather than the half tarot card reading, I went in for the full tarot reading (19 cards instead of 10). I may have also splurged for the added palm reading. Peer-pressure really, but I safely avoided drugs and law breaking my whole life, so it was bound to get me sometime. So I walk in, sit in her fancy little chair with her terrifying dog Scooby locked up in a closet around the corner, and attempt to relax. She tells me to pick my cards, and again, I began to panic that I'd flip over the death card. I don't even know what it means, but frankly, death can't be good. Anyway, I'll spare you the details, but she told me to a T (tee, tea?) what she told me last time, with slight updates. She commented on current relationship status, heartbreaks, exes, and boy was she right on. My palm reading enlightened her more about my future, where I'll apparently have one marriage, two children (a boy and a girl), and be dead at 89.

And finally, the whole reason for this blog, an update to The Truth Shall Set Me Free...

Season 6 of American Idol is under way. Yes, it's tough to fill the shoes of AI5, with successes of Chris Daughtry, Taylor Hicks, Kellie Pickler, and, the soon to be phenomenal success of my favorite and yours, Elliott Yamin. But, with people like Sanjaya and his "Vote For The Worst" posse, 6 is doomed. For your benefit, I will comment on each of the 12 now. And you can then hope that this will get it out of my system enough to not have to blog again about it until season 7.

Sanjaya Malakar
Really? What is with this guy? Not only is he awful, but he's a child. A child who can't sing. A child who came out singing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" like it was a lullaby. Not to mention his top hat fiasco a few weeks ago...

Brandon Rogers
Love him. I know he's sucked every week since the auditions, but I hold out hope that my backup singing boyfriend will become a front runner. He's an actual musician, playing classical piano since he was 9 years old. And, his voice is amazing if he would just lose his nerves. No time for nerves Brandon, not on Idol.

Gina Glocksen
She's good, but she won't win. She's edgy and different, but she's no powerhouse singer, which seems to be the fan/judge choice this year. If you watched first season, you may compare her to a better Nikki McKibben.

Haley Scarnato
Go home. She's already sick and tired of hearing "Well you look pretty" after every time she sings. I'm pretty sure this is AI, not ANTM (Top Model), which is why she's not a front-runner at this stage of the game. She can sing, yes. She's boring, yes. But I think I'd go see her on Broadway if she ended up there.

Blake Lewis
The beatboxer. He's original, and he likes Jason Mraz, so he's got 10 points from me. I actually thought he was good last night...I'd dig a funky version of his take on Diana Ross on my iPod over the original any day.

Chris Sligh
I used to like him, but last night his ego got the best of him and the worst of me. When asked to comment on his performace, which really was not very good, he said "It wasn't the vocals, it was the arrangement." Ew. Really? He was better when he was funny. Now he's just an ass.

Jordin Sparks
17 years old. If I sang like that at 17 (or now) I wouldn't have been so scared of my 30 second 'On My Own' solo in my 11th grade chorus concert. She won't win though. I think America will keep other stupid people on longer.

Lakisha Jones
Wohoo Maryland! With a voice like hers, I don't think you can ever really sound bad. She came in an underdog, but has gotten comments like "I'm tempted to tell the others to quit now" from Simon, so...yeah. She's got it.

Melinda Dolittle
Same as above, minus the "Wohoo Maryland!" As the other former backup singer, she needs to give some hints to Brandon. She has no fear. And, she's humble. Every time she gets a compliment, she genuinely means it when she says thank you.

Chris Richardson
You've seen one Justin Timberlake wannabe, you've seen him all. He's a little too soprano for my taste (not one ounce of pain in his whiney voice) but, again, a Jason Mraz fan, we'll give him 5 points, just to be nice.

Stephanie Edwards
Her voice makes my brain hurt. I don't know why, but she's my least favorite. I look forward to the mess Sanjaya will bring much more than the mediocre performance she will. I think America will agree with me too, that even though she can keep a (piercing) tune, she's no star.

Phil Stacey
Aside from his giant eyes and screamingly bald head, I think he's got a great voice. He and Idol reject Rudy Cardenas were two more of my favorites from the auditons. Poor Rudy, sing it Phil! And besides, he's got to stick around a few more weeks to make the missed birth of his child worth it.

Accept my apologies. I will try not to do this again. But side note, I should totally be an AI commentator don't you think?

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

If I Had A Million Dollars...

March 7, 2007

I regret inform you (and even more regretfully me) that I am not the winner of the Mega Millions jackpot. Myself, along with 15 of my closest coworkers, were selfless in our attempts to prosper, and entered all of our tickets into a pool. No one claimed there own ticket, and if one hit, we all won big. $23.6 million big to be exact. Yeah yeah, taxes, whatever. But still. Even $10 million...hell....$1 million...what would I do? Where would I go?

I like to think that I'd cut some money off to my favorite "peeps." My parents, my extended family (which if you know me, is not a small feat) , my closest friends. But then it gets complicated. Is it like having a party? If I invite A, B, and C, then I can't not invite D? And then I wonder, would I actually share as generously as I do when I win in my head?

I've also pretended I should go on Deal Or No Deal. But I watch these greedy bastards who turn down $290 million to keep going. I panic for them. Heart races, palms sweaty, and a littly too dizzy to stand up if I needed to. I wonder what I would do in that situation. My luck, my first six cases opened would be the top 6 amounts, ruling out all chances of being any kind of big money winner. So something tells me that if they gave me a first offer of $17,000, I'd be like "Deal! Peace out Howie!" I'd also be saving myself the real life anxiety of continuing on and passing out on stage.

I'm actually a little depressed about my loss. There's always a little part of me when I buy into the lottery, or play a slot machine, that thinks "This is it. I'm going to win and my life is going to change." But then, I don't. And, it doesn't. My dreams are still just dreams - and since my generous plan to share includes some of you, your dreams are also still just dreams.

You can't win the lottery if you don't play the lottery, so trust you me, I will do this again. And, I may have perused the Deal Or No Deal website, so, anyone with a video camera...come find me. I need to make a tape...