That said, I'm on a mission to redeem myself. Once again, here goes...
So to catch you up a smidge...I've entered back into the retail world. It was certainly an odd transition, going from daily stock updates and economical woes to 6-step product system recommendations for hair care and skin care. I think after so many years dealing with people only in business interaction, I'd forgotten how much I actually hate the majority of regular human beings.
Why you wonder?
Have you ever heard of "mall walkers"? In case not, let me explain. Mall walkers are lunatic people who get out of bed at 6am to walk. And no, that's not what I find "lunatic" about them. Its the part where after rolling out of bed at such a cruel hour, they then get in their cars to DRIVE to the nearest mall, and then proceed to walk the corridors of the nearest town center.
About 1 year ago, when I was working at Towson Town Center, I noticed just this; Mall walkers. Now, at Tyson's Corner, this is no longer the correct term. These mall walkers are much more serious. I prefer to call them "mall runners". Yes, picture it. If the stores were open, I'd have to wonder if these people just might have stolen merchandise shoved underneath their Under Armour as they dash through the halls seemingly seeking their freedom from the super scary mall cops.
I also feel I must mention one particular mall walker... always with a Nordstrom E-bar coffee in hand, that walks down the escalator, then walks back up the escalator, over and over again until he feels he's reached his pre-set criteria for his daily exercise. Frankly, he's always in my way as I attempt to sprint downward to work, as I am usually running late from the ridiculous 495 commute. And wouldn't this routine be more effective on stairs that don't move for you?
Now of course, we haven't even chatted yet about the actual mall shoppers. For example, meet spastic crazy lady who frantically runs around your freshly straightened store and then proceeds to wash her face with a cleanser tester. Using the tester? Not weird. Entering the store covered in another brand's face puke green face mask prior to using the tester? You decide.
I will say this...no two days are ever the same when you work in a mall. I've learned some people's life stories, I've been hit on by men AND women, and once I even found out about someones pregnancy before their husband. I've been asked advice, and have been told I've made someones day. How lovely you may think.
I've been shoplifted, I've been screamed at. I've been told I'm an f'ing idiot (although he wasn't quite as sensored about it.) And I hope everyone enjoyed New Years Eve, Day, MLK, and frankly any other holiday that isn't Thanksgiving or Christmas, because I'm the sucker that has to work so you people can have something to do during your down time. Retail therapy I believe its called. Oh boy, isn't President's Day coming up? Maybe I'll see you at the mall.
