There are a ton of things in the world I haven't done. I've never jumped out of a plane, never been camping, and I've never been mountain climbing. I've never even been to Las Vegas, or even really anywhere off the East Coast.
Recently, though, my eyes were opened to some other things I've never done that are right here in my hometown. Things I might not consider doing, but with a push, and a little bit of naivety, I did it...
This weekend, I went on a mystery outing. Here are some clues...can you guess where I went?
It costs money.
It's manual labor.
It does not involve animals, water, or safety equipment.
It does involve other equipment.
It is not a sport.
There are several places located in the surrounding Baltimore area.
You do not dress nicely, and you will get dirty.
Ooh, and, here's a kicker...its a sin in some countries.
Well, I was baffled too. But early Saturday afternoon, when it was finally time to reveal the mystery, we pulled up to a little place called Crazy Ray's.
Whoever he was, Crazy Ray was one smart man. I never would have imagined that this was as popular of an activity as it was. Crazy Ray's was a crowded, full of people ready to do what I was about to do. And no...Crazy Ray's is not a strip club.
People line up at the cashier to go in ($1 a person to look) and even longer at the cashier to leave (you pick it, you pay it.) It's a mechanics dream, a giant area neatly piled with other peoples vehicular trash. Crazy Ray's is a junk yard.
So, with hands full of tools, we ventured into the sea of transportation. The cars are semi-sorted by make, but you work your way through the maze careful not to have the tow truck unload its new addition directly onto your head.
I followed quickly behind until reaching the 1995 Buick Le Sabre. Goal: driver side rear passenger small window, and passenger side rear regular window. How on earth were we going to get a window out of a door? Yeah, not sure.
Luckily (for me) the mini window had already been removed and placed carefully in the back seat, as if a gift was left there just for us. The other window, not so simple. Please allow for uneducated terms as I explain the process of removing a window from a door.
First, we (he) took off the door panel. You pull it off and reveal enough of the nuts/bolts/screw/wired area to disconnect further. Now I was having fun! I got to literally tear apart a car! And, as you may know, I have a tendency to be semi-destructive at times.
Then it was kind of trial and error. The trick was to figure out how the window connected to the door, which was tricky since there was no power to the car. Once we (he) found that, we'd be set...or so we thought. The window wouldn't go down far enough to remove by the door, and wouldn't come up far enough because of the size of the opening and the shape of the window. Ohhh noo.
Then, I actually made my first real contribution to the outing...I had an idea. What if we removed the side window to clear up extra space in the window frame? From there, we should technically be able to pull it straight out. And guess what, we were! Must be my amazing ability to calculate dimension in my head. I suppose I'm a math person after all! Too bad this didn't kick in back in Mrs. Roth's Geometry class...you know, the one I almost didn't make it out of, even with a tutor.
Forget I said that. Let's remember how I'm now a mathematical whiz. So, after the window was removed and all the tools were put away, we headed towards the hefty little line at the cashier. Two windows came to $40 dollars (ish) which, as priced by Safelite online later that day, would have come to over $1000 brand new. Talk about a deal! Bargain shopping at its best. Who knew you could bargain shop for things other than clothes and fashion jewelry!
I felt accomplished at the sight of my dirty hands and 5 year old tennis shoes that I dug out of my closet for the experience. What's next?! Bring it on! The day of handiness had only just begun! That's right people...it doesn't stop here. Later that afternoon, I assisted in the assembly of a propane gas grill. Which, by the way, worked upon completion, and so far, has not blown up.
I never would have guessed that my talents continued past makeup artistry and blogging. Now, suddenly, I'm practically a natural mechanic! They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so it must be in the genes...thanks Dad!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Safety First?
After sincere hesitation, I accompanied a friend to a car dealership yesterday as she attempted to buy her first car new car. If you know me, you know the car dealership is no stranger to me. Already on my 5th, I decided it was my duty to apply my haggling expertise to her purchase.
Let me preface by saying that this car purchasing virgin was completely unaware of what goes on during the process. She thought that buying a car was just like buying a radio. You pick a model, a color, find a salesperson to pull it around for you, and voila! Proud owner. And because she already knew what she wanted (without test driving may I add) she was convinced that this had to be the way it was. I tried my hardest to assure her that this was not the case.
We walked in to R&H Toyota around 5:30pm. In about 4.3 seconds, we had a salesman whose name for the life of me I can't remember right now. Except that his last name was Yingling. Kinda sounds like a beer, doesn't it?
Anyway, I had been named the vocalist for the majority of the sale. Wanting nothing to do with the sale except for receiving the keys in the end, my friend passed the torch on to me. So, I spoke the words I'd practiced (not really) in the car. "Hi, my friend wants to buy a Scion xA. Neutral color of some kind, base model, automatic transmission. She already got a price at Russell. If you can match it, she wants to buy it here, today."
Yingling took us outside and showed us her dream car. Except. Stick. When Ying asked what the problem with stick was, my friend replied with "Nothing, except I don't want to drive one where there are any other cars around." Clever. I liked it. Yingling, however, looked puzzled.
Once we explained that she meant "NO" we ended up at his desk. Because the manual was the only Scion xA on the lot, we went back to play with pricing, and decided to worry about the actual car later. This being Yingling's brilliant idea.
With Toyota's pure pricing (similar to Saturn's no haggling) the pricing seemed easy. So from here you'd think, "YES! This IS like buying a radio!." But no. At just past 6, we were no where near finished.
Producing a list of cars available was the next step. While he was doing this, I had a moment of deja vu and realized it was because I had briefly worked at R&H Toyota myself. And by briefly, I mean maybe one month, and I'm pretty sure I just stopped showing up after I tried to call out sick one day and they told me no. I decided not to mention this part to Yingling.
There were 5 cars available. 3 white, standard, no side airbags. One silver, standard, no side airbags. One black, standard, with side airbags...for for $650 more. As salesmen always do, he tried an upsell. Side airbags perhaps? Well, yes we thought. Of course. Upsell accepted!
This turned out to be a very bad idea on Mr. Yingling's part...
After literally making the sale, running the credit card for the additional amount over the check that had already been prepared (courtesy of eloans.com) he THEN decides to call the dealer that had the black car available to get the remaining details and vin # to secure the sale.
To everyone's disappointment (Jessie's, because she wanted it, me because I was ready to move on to sushi, and Yingling's because he's the money hungry salesman) the car was not actually the price he quoted. Said dealer had added quite a few aftermarket parts that they were unwilling to negotiate on and/or remove. The perfect car had vanished right before our eyes.
And, my non-picky friend was a little pickier than anticipated. Now she wanted the side airbags. And she did NOT want white. And in a 500 mile radius, the only cars with the exact options were all, surprisingly, white.
Now she had to decide...safety before color, or vice versa? Knowing that I chose a sunroof over side airbags 3 years ago (sorry back seat passengers) I told her she shouldn't buy a car that's a color she hates. She shook her head, glared at Ying, and said "But he convinced me that side airbags were a good idea, and now I want them."
Playing devil's advocate, and as a lover of white cars myself, I tried to assist Yingling in the sale of the white car. But, no luck. She doesn't want white. Sigh.
At 8:45 (that's right, more than three hours later) we left so she could sleep on it.
That said, I don't understand why buying a car ISN'T like buying a radio. Why are car salesman so shady? Every time they say they're going to talk to their sales manager, I am tempted to follow them on the smoke break I know they're taking so I can catch them in a lie. I bet I'd have some prime haggling opportunities there!
And isn't it sad that I can spend three hours with someone and not even remember their name after? Maybe it was all the Yingling...
Let me preface by saying that this car purchasing virgin was completely unaware of what goes on during the process. She thought that buying a car was just like buying a radio. You pick a model, a color, find a salesperson to pull it around for you, and voila! Proud owner. And because she already knew what she wanted (without test driving may I add) she was convinced that this had to be the way it was. I tried my hardest to assure her that this was not the case.
We walked in to R&H Toyota around 5:30pm. In about 4.3 seconds, we had a salesman whose name for the life of me I can't remember right now. Except that his last name was Yingling. Kinda sounds like a beer, doesn't it?
Anyway, I had been named the vocalist for the majority of the sale. Wanting nothing to do with the sale except for receiving the keys in the end, my friend passed the torch on to me. So, I spoke the words I'd practiced (not really) in the car. "Hi, my friend wants to buy a Scion xA. Neutral color of some kind, base model, automatic transmission. She already got a price at Russell. If you can match it, she wants to buy it here, today."
Yingling took us outside and showed us her dream car. Except. Stick. When Ying asked what the problem with stick was, my friend replied with "Nothing, except I don't want to drive one where there are any other cars around." Clever. I liked it. Yingling, however, looked puzzled.
Once we explained that she meant "NO" we ended up at his desk. Because the manual was the only Scion xA on the lot, we went back to play with pricing, and decided to worry about the actual car later. This being Yingling's brilliant idea.
With Toyota's pure pricing (similar to Saturn's no haggling) the pricing seemed easy. So from here you'd think, "YES! This IS like buying a radio!." But no. At just past 6, we were no where near finished.
Producing a list of cars available was the next step. While he was doing this, I had a moment of deja vu and realized it was because I had briefly worked at R&H Toyota myself. And by briefly, I mean maybe one month, and I'm pretty sure I just stopped showing up after I tried to call out sick one day and they told me no. I decided not to mention this part to Yingling.
There were 5 cars available. 3 white, standard, no side airbags. One silver, standard, no side airbags. One black, standard, with side airbags...for for $650 more. As salesmen always do, he tried an upsell. Side airbags perhaps? Well, yes we thought. Of course. Upsell accepted!
This turned out to be a very bad idea on Mr. Yingling's part...
After literally making the sale, running the credit card for the additional amount over the check that had already been prepared (courtesy of eloans.com) he THEN decides to call the dealer that had the black car available to get the remaining details and vin # to secure the sale.
To everyone's disappointment (Jessie's, because she wanted it, me because I was ready to move on to sushi, and Yingling's because he's the money hungry salesman) the car was not actually the price he quoted. Said dealer had added quite a few aftermarket parts that they were unwilling to negotiate on and/or remove. The perfect car had vanished right before our eyes.
And, my non-picky friend was a little pickier than anticipated. Now she wanted the side airbags. And she did NOT want white. And in a 500 mile radius, the only cars with the exact options were all, surprisingly, white.
Now she had to decide...safety before color, or vice versa? Knowing that I chose a sunroof over side airbags 3 years ago (sorry back seat passengers) I told her she shouldn't buy a car that's a color she hates. She shook her head, glared at Ying, and said "But he convinced me that side airbags were a good idea, and now I want them."
Playing devil's advocate, and as a lover of white cars myself, I tried to assist Yingling in the sale of the white car. But, no luck. She doesn't want white. Sigh.
At 8:45 (that's right, more than three hours later) we left so she could sleep on it.
That said, I don't understand why buying a car ISN'T like buying a radio. Why are car salesman so shady? Every time they say they're going to talk to their sales manager, I am tempted to follow them on the smoke break I know they're taking so I can catch them in a lie. I bet I'd have some prime haggling opportunities there!
And isn't it sad that I can spend three hours with someone and not even remember their name after? Maybe it was all the Yingling...
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Mr. Clean Meets Mr. Mouse
While I'm on my usual and latest kick on how its expensive to survive...have you ever noticed how pricey it is to stay clean?
On a recent shopping trip to Target, I thought I'd stock up on some necessary household items. I was feeling a little crazy because a friend made me believe I had a mouse living under my refrigerator. Immediately turning into my mother, I decided a spring cleaning session was in order, thus my voyage to obtain some Mr. Clean.
I darted to the back of the store. Among aisles and aisles of disinfecting products, I felt like a maid in heaven. Who knew there were 4 different scents of the bald man's product? He also makes a mop, a sponge, and a wonderful little invention called the Magic Eraser. Feeling no need for this though, I picked up the original blue stuff you pour into the bucket, a spongy mop like situation, and carried on to my next venture.
In aisle two, I grabbed some colorful drop ins to make my toilet water pretty, refills for my disposable toilet scrubber, and a new dustpan. I know! How fun does this all sound?!
Then, while grabbing some last minute paper towels, an air freshener, and Electrasol dish washing fluid, I came across them...the mouse traps. The thought of a mouse had overtaken my brain and forced me to buy poison, glue traps, and a fancy little box cage contraption. Suddenly, I was no longer catching just a mouse...no...I was out to catch the entire mouse population, and the dirty rat grandparents too.
So far though, I have no mouse. Oh, and no rats either. I just know they heard me coming with my battle equipment and so they scurried for the less prepared.
I think I'll call it the unavoidable cost of cleanliness...
Trip to Target...$100.13
Pest free environment with blue toilet bowl water...Priceless.
On a recent shopping trip to Target, I thought I'd stock up on some necessary household items. I was feeling a little crazy because a friend made me believe I had a mouse living under my refrigerator. Immediately turning into my mother, I decided a spring cleaning session was in order, thus my voyage to obtain some Mr. Clean.
I darted to the back of the store. Among aisles and aisles of disinfecting products, I felt like a maid in heaven. Who knew there were 4 different scents of the bald man's product? He also makes a mop, a sponge, and a wonderful little invention called the Magic Eraser. Feeling no need for this though, I picked up the original blue stuff you pour into the bucket, a spongy mop like situation, and carried on to my next venture.
In aisle two, I grabbed some colorful drop ins to make my toilet water pretty, refills for my disposable toilet scrubber, and a new dustpan. I know! How fun does this all sound?!
Then, while grabbing some last minute paper towels, an air freshener, and Electrasol dish washing fluid, I came across them...the mouse traps. The thought of a mouse had overtaken my brain and forced me to buy poison, glue traps, and a fancy little box cage contraption. Suddenly, I was no longer catching just a mouse...no...I was out to catch the entire mouse population, and the dirty rat grandparents too.
So far though, I have no mouse. Oh, and no rats either. I just know they heard me coming with my battle equipment and so they scurried for the less prepared.
I think I'll call it the unavoidable cost of cleanliness...
Trip to Target...$100.13
Pest free environment with blue toilet bowl water...Priceless.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
It's a Good Thing I Like Ramen...
I did it. I've figured out the reason that so many people are unhealthy in the United States. Why Shauna, you ask? It's too freaking expensive. Fit isn't free. Have a looksie...
Other than the occasional deals by using my Giant Bonus Card, it's practically impossible to shop on a budget. And by practically impossible, I mean not a chance in hell. But, every time I complain about being low on the dough, I get the typical response of "Why don't you stop eating out?" And I say...
A. I don't eat out much.
B. It is far from cheaper to grocery shop..
and 3. I do not know how, nor can I afford the utilities needed, to roll a proper sushi roll.
Now, to clarify "B" just a bit...If it costs me $5 for a 6 inch sub at subway, 5 days a week, that's $25. But to buy a weeks worth of bread ($4...because I cannot just buy what's on sale, I have to take into consideration the calories, fat, protein, and fiber of each bread, and let me tell you, the right ones don't get discounted EVER), 2 packages of Healthy Choice Oven Roasted Turkey, $7. Add in cucumber, lettuce, tomato, and all the other fancy fixin's I might want to make my sandwich taste better than wheat fiber and dry turkey, then there you have it. Add in breakfast and dinner, fruits, etc, for the rest of the week, and its merely a dream to walk into the grocery store without spending less than $100 a week. And I am only one person.
My mother would insert this here: "You should buy your fruits and vegetables at the fruit market Shauna. It's cheaper. And you should shop where the sales are. Did I mention that toilet paper is on sale at Food Lion in Reisterstown this week...you should go there!"
Well, other than the fact that Food Lion is practically in Pennsylvania, if I drive to market A for fruit, market B for perishables, and market C for toiletries, I have now just wasted an entire tank of gas, nearly $50, that I guarantee you I did not save on the double roll special on toilet paper at the far from local Food Lion.
Now let's consider the above when trying to follow a slightly stricter diet. Let's say, as I mentioned with the bread, that you are focused on certain daily intakes. And let's also say, just for fun, that said diet insists on 5 meals a day. Well, add this to your bills.
$54...2 cases of high protein bars
$108...3 cases of nutritional supplement beverages
$1.29...the additional cost to your $10 omelet for egg beaters or whites.
Throw in a $40 monthly gym membership fee while we're at it and I think I just may have proven my very insightful, if I do say so myself, point.
Now this may come as a surprise, but I have been wrong on occasion...so I challenge you. If anyone has figured out a way to live on a less than superfluous salary, while maintaining a healthy balanced diet combined with routine exercise and a full tank of gas, please advise. Otherwise, I may have to forfeit the healthy lifestyle I am trying to adopt in exchange for $1 packages of Ramen Noodles, that last week, I would have gotten a two-for with my fancy bonus card keychain at my actually local grocery store...
Other than the occasional deals by using my Giant Bonus Card, it's practically impossible to shop on a budget. And by practically impossible, I mean not a chance in hell. But, every time I complain about being low on the dough, I get the typical response of "Why don't you stop eating out?" And I say...
A. I don't eat out much.
B. It is far from cheaper to grocery shop..
and 3. I do not know how, nor can I afford the utilities needed, to roll a proper sushi roll.
Now, to clarify "B" just a bit...If it costs me $5 for a 6 inch sub at subway, 5 days a week, that's $25. But to buy a weeks worth of bread ($4...because I cannot just buy what's on sale, I have to take into consideration the calories, fat, protein, and fiber of each bread, and let me tell you, the right ones don't get discounted EVER), 2 packages of Healthy Choice Oven Roasted Turkey, $7. Add in cucumber, lettuce, tomato, and all the other fancy fixin's I might want to make my sandwich taste better than wheat fiber and dry turkey, then there you have it. Add in breakfast and dinner, fruits, etc, for the rest of the week, and its merely a dream to walk into the grocery store without spending less than $100 a week. And I am only one person.
My mother would insert this here: "You should buy your fruits and vegetables at the fruit market Shauna. It's cheaper. And you should shop where the sales are. Did I mention that toilet paper is on sale at Food Lion in Reisterstown this week...you should go there!"
Well, other than the fact that Food Lion is practically in Pennsylvania, if I drive to market A for fruit, market B for perishables, and market C for toiletries, I have now just wasted an entire tank of gas, nearly $50, that I guarantee you I did not save on the double roll special on toilet paper at the far from local Food Lion.
Now let's consider the above when trying to follow a slightly stricter diet. Let's say, as I mentioned with the bread, that you are focused on certain daily intakes. And let's also say, just for fun, that said diet insists on 5 meals a day. Well, add this to your bills.
$54...2 cases of high protein bars
$108...3 cases of nutritional supplement beverages
$1.29...the additional cost to your $10 omelet for egg beaters or whites.
Throw in a $40 monthly gym membership fee while we're at it and I think I just may have proven my very insightful, if I do say so myself, point.
Now this may come as a surprise, but I have been wrong on occasion...so I challenge you. If anyone has figured out a way to live on a less than superfluous salary, while maintaining a healthy balanced diet combined with routine exercise and a full tank of gas, please advise. Otherwise, I may have to forfeit the healthy lifestyle I am trying to adopt in exchange for $1 packages of Ramen Noodles, that last week, I would have gotten a two-for with my fancy bonus card keychain at my actually local grocery store...
Friday, May 18, 2007
Someday I'll Understand
May 18, 2007
I've had a week full of internal questions. Maybe I surround myself with strange things...maybe I think too much. Either way, here are some things I will never understand.
I myself am an avid coin pincher. Maybe not when it comes to SOME things, but I certainly have my fare share of being cheap. For example, if the 60% off necklace at Target is still $8.00, I do not think this is a bargain. However, if it's $3, I'll buy it, even though I may not love it as much as the latter.
But today, I experienced a line even I wouldn't cross.
Scene: I'm 2nd to the head of the line-out-the-door at Subway attempting the purchase of my 6-inch turkey on wheat. I may as well have been last in a line of 42, because the two girls ahead of me were, well, slow.
Girl 1: "I see you have a footlong sub. Now if I purchase this, can I get half italian cold cut, and half pastrami?"
Subway man: "Yes we have a footlong sub."
Girl 2: "But can we get two halves?"
SM: "Not a footlong. We charge you more for two halves."
Girl 1 to Girl 2: "Ugh, should we get cold cut, or pastrami then?"
After a huge debate (approx. 2.7 minutes) the girls decided that girl 1 wins, and they ordered an italian cold cut. But of course, they each decorated their halves respectively, obviously confusing SG (subway girl) who was second in the assembley line behind the counter. And of course, this was obviously their first time at such a place, so the array of luxurious toppings really excited them.
All of this to save 25 cents. I toyed with the idea of handing them a quarter.
***
My morning drive includes a painful journey up St. Paul Street. With illegally parked cars, busses, and wretched pedestrians, it's a constant brake-riding experience, day after day.
Today however, was especially fun.
I got cut off by a biker. Not a motor biker. Just a man on his bicycle. Keep in mind that immediately to my right, and left, there is a wide, perfectly paved sidewalk, for him to venture down.
And of course, after he cuts me off, he travels at approximately 17 mph below the speed limit. Fantastic.
***
I'm not going to lie and say I haven't fallen victim to this. I won't even tell you that I don't frequently peruse perezhilton.com, tmz.com, and thesuperficial.com.
But, there are other reasons besides total loserdom and sheer pleasure that I read this junk. For example, I totally knew the answer to the trivia question the other night...What is the name of Paris Hilton's dog? Duh. Tinkerbell. But in the last few days, I've seen actual headlines (not even just on these smut sites) that have really just made me realize that we live in a far from normal, and really just ridiculous world.
Here we go: Britney Chews Gum At Comeback Show
Wow! Really? But what kind of gum was it? "I don't know Bob, let's see if we can get a closer look...ah yes...based on the color, it appears to be..."
REALLY?!
***
That's all for now. The rest of the world still makes sense I guess.
I've had a week full of internal questions. Maybe I surround myself with strange things...maybe I think too much. Either way, here are some things I will never understand.
I myself am an avid coin pincher. Maybe not when it comes to SOME things, but I certainly have my fare share of being cheap. For example, if the 60% off necklace at Target is still $8.00, I do not think this is a bargain. However, if it's $3, I'll buy it, even though I may not love it as much as the latter.
But today, I experienced a line even I wouldn't cross.
Scene: I'm 2nd to the head of the line-out-the-door at Subway attempting the purchase of my 6-inch turkey on wheat. I may as well have been last in a line of 42, because the two girls ahead of me were, well, slow.
Girl 1: "I see you have a footlong sub. Now if I purchase this, can I get half italian cold cut, and half pastrami?"
Subway man: "Yes we have a footlong sub."
Girl 2: "But can we get two halves?"
SM: "Not a footlong. We charge you more for two halves."
Girl 1 to Girl 2: "Ugh, should we get cold cut, or pastrami then?"
After a huge debate (approx. 2.7 minutes) the girls decided that girl 1 wins, and they ordered an italian cold cut. But of course, they each decorated their halves respectively, obviously confusing SG (subway girl) who was second in the assembley line behind the counter. And of course, this was obviously their first time at such a place, so the array of luxurious toppings really excited them.
All of this to save 25 cents. I toyed with the idea of handing them a quarter.
***
My morning drive includes a painful journey up St. Paul Street. With illegally parked cars, busses, and wretched pedestrians, it's a constant brake-riding experience, day after day.
Today however, was especially fun.
I got cut off by a biker. Not a motor biker. Just a man on his bicycle. Keep in mind that immediately to my right, and left, there is a wide, perfectly paved sidewalk, for him to venture down.
And of course, after he cuts me off, he travels at approximately 17 mph below the speed limit. Fantastic.
***
I'm not going to lie and say I haven't fallen victim to this. I won't even tell you that I don't frequently peruse perezhilton.com, tmz.com, and thesuperficial.com.
But, there are other reasons besides total loserdom and sheer pleasure that I read this junk. For example, I totally knew the answer to the trivia question the other night...What is the name of Paris Hilton's dog? Duh. Tinkerbell. But in the last few days, I've seen actual headlines (not even just on these smut sites) that have really just made me realize that we live in a far from normal, and really just ridiculous world.
Here we go: Britney Chews Gum At Comeback Show
Wow! Really? But what kind of gum was it? "I don't know Bob, let's see if we can get a closer look...ah yes...based on the color, it appears to be..."
REALLY?!
***
That's all for now. The rest of the world still makes sense I guess.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Million Dollar Idea
Innovation...shouldn't this lead to invention? I mean, if I can figure out how to hang a bulletin board at work with a simple paper clip/push pin combo (which by the way, I'm still owed $10 from a bet that I couldn't do it) why can' t I come up with a solution to an everyday problem?
Oprah had a search for the best idea last week. The audience voted on the top 5 or so inventions that she found 'round the states, and the winner gets set up with a QVC commercial slot, patenting, etc. The winner, a brilliant idea, was the Lock-N-Bake, a 13x9 inch pan with foldable removable sides. Scene: You bake a cake. You have to cut the first piece and get it out of the pan prettily. We all know that the first piece is NEVER the cute piece. So, imagine a world where you can take same 13x9 inch pan, and fold off/remove the sides, leaving you with cake on tray. Like I said, brilliant. She also demo'd with a lasagna, which I have my reservations about. How does the sauce, etc, not pour out of the sides when cutting if the dish is still hot? Even so, as I was watching this, I kept thinking to myself...ugh, why didn't I come up with that! In my head though, I came up with her winning slogan, "It's a piece of cake!" I know, I'm good.
A few years ago, I thought I'd hit it with the "heated ice scraper" idea. Sadly, my dream came crashing down when I was told I could already purchase this at Target. Then I thought, "Fine! I'll come up with something else." From there, I came up with the lipstick prep base. If they can make a base for eyeshadow to keep it on all day, why can't they make one for lips...why should I have to reapply liner stick and gloss with every sip of my coffee? So instead of finding a chemist and a lab to stir up a batch of my miracle cream, I just stopped wearing lip accesory altogether. Now though , you can purchase this very item at MAC. If you're interested, its called Prep & Prime Lip, and its amazing. After all, I knew it would be.
Oprah had a search for the best idea last week. The audience voted on the top 5 or so inventions that she found 'round the states, and the winner gets set up with a QVC commercial slot, patenting, etc. The winner, a brilliant idea, was the Lock-N-Bake, a 13x9 inch pan with foldable removable sides. Scene: You bake a cake. You have to cut the first piece and get it out of the pan prettily. We all know that the first piece is NEVER the cute piece. So, imagine a world where you can take same 13x9 inch pan, and fold off/remove the sides, leaving you with cake on tray. Like I said, brilliant. She also demo'd with a lasagna, which I have my reservations about. How does the sauce, etc, not pour out of the sides when cutting if the dish is still hot? Even so, as I was watching this, I kept thinking to myself...ugh, why didn't I come up with that! In my head though, I came up with her winning slogan, "It's a piece of cake!" I know, I'm good.
A few years ago, I thought I'd hit it with the "heated ice scraper" idea. Sadly, my dream came crashing down when I was told I could already purchase this at Target. Then I thought, "Fine! I'll come up with something else." From there, I came up with the lipstick prep base. If they can make a base for eyeshadow to keep it on all day, why can't they make one for lips...why should I have to reapply liner stick and gloss with every sip of my coffee? So instead of finding a chemist and a lab to stir up a batch of my miracle cream, I just stopped wearing lip accesory altogether. Now though , you can purchase this very item at MAC. If you're interested, its called Prep & Prime Lip, and its amazing. After all, I knew it would be.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Catch and Release
May 2, 2007
You can take the girl out of her high heels, but you can't take the high heels out of a girl. Let me explain...
I used to be an all-star pitcher. And by "all-star" I mean, in my 5 year stint of a softball career, I pitched 4, and was accompanied by one full-game-pitched no hitter. Clearly, my one and only claim to fame so far in life. Ten years later, without so much as a nod in the direction of a softball glove, I decide to grab one and head on out for a friendly game of catch at the local elementary school field.
Let me preface...although I say I pitched, somewhat decently, back in my day, I never said I could throw. If you've ever seen me play beer pong, or even a piece of candy across the office, this won't come as a suprise. I have no aim. And even worse, I have no power. Are you standing 20 feet away from me? Move closer, you're too far.
Anyway, so here I am, playing catch with my newly purchased (gifted) hot pink and black softball glove. We've got a baseball and a softball to throw around for variety. And I decide, hey, let me throw a few pitches! As most of my great ideas are, this was a very bad idea...
First, because the memories of my pitching days are much prettier than what ten years out of practice reality actually is. Out of, oh, 473,000 pitches, I think I threw 3 slow pitch (I played fast pitch) strikes. On top of it, a 10,000 mile an hour ball came at me, which I caught, sort of, until it bounced out of my glove and struck me in the chin leaving stitch marks (battle wounds) in place of my new spray on foundation from MAC. AND three days later, I still can not lift my poor right arm over my head.
In my moments of cripple-dom, I had a lot of time to think about all of the other things I suck at now...
Biking. Yes. "It's just like riding a bike." Fine. But let me tell you, riding a bike is not even "just like riding a bike." I got on it, started to tip, had a small panic attack, thought I might die, and have since found home on the stationary bike that won't dump me onto a pile of gravel on the trail.
Cooking. Some of you who read this might laugh, but I really did used to be quite the little chef. In college, my roommates might have starved if not for me and my mother-donated recipe box. But somewhere along the way, I got lazy. Actually, let's "euphemism" this and say "cultural" in wanting to try out all different kinds of restaurants.
Farsi. Yeah, I used to speak it. So what if I was 5, but rumor has it that this girl was bilangual at the early age, until my second language was neglected in the home. Kinda not my fault, but still.
Makeup. I don't know if its my inability to do my own makeup, or just my skins inability to wear it proudly anymore, but when I look back at pictures from my earlier days of makeup wearing, it just looked better back then. Maybe because I used to spend an hour getting ready to go to the grocery store, and 2 if I was actually going somewhere there might be a camera. Either way, rest assured though, that I still can do other people's makeup. Feel free to hire me for your upcoming wedding or event.
I could go on. But my right arm is making it difficult to type from pretending that I'm still an all-star pitcher...
You can take the girl out of her high heels, but you can't take the high heels out of a girl. Let me explain...
I used to be an all-star pitcher. And by "all-star" I mean, in my 5 year stint of a softball career, I pitched 4, and was accompanied by one full-game-pitched no hitter. Clearly, my one and only claim to fame so far in life. Ten years later, without so much as a nod in the direction of a softball glove, I decide to grab one and head on out for a friendly game of catch at the local elementary school field.
Let me preface...although I say I pitched, somewhat decently, back in my day, I never said I could throw. If you've ever seen me play beer pong, or even a piece of candy across the office, this won't come as a suprise. I have no aim. And even worse, I have no power. Are you standing 20 feet away from me? Move closer, you're too far.
Anyway, so here I am, playing catch with my newly purchased (gifted) hot pink and black softball glove. We've got a baseball and a softball to throw around for variety. And I decide, hey, let me throw a few pitches! As most of my great ideas are, this was a very bad idea...
First, because the memories of my pitching days are much prettier than what ten years out of practice reality actually is. Out of, oh, 473,000 pitches, I think I threw 3 slow pitch (I played fast pitch) strikes. On top of it, a 10,000 mile an hour ball came at me, which I caught, sort of, until it bounced out of my glove and struck me in the chin leaving stitch marks (battle wounds) in place of my new spray on foundation from MAC. AND three days later, I still can not lift my poor right arm over my head.
In my moments of cripple-dom, I had a lot of time to think about all of the other things I suck at now...
Biking. Yes. "It's just like riding a bike." Fine. But let me tell you, riding a bike is not even "just like riding a bike." I got on it, started to tip, had a small panic attack, thought I might die, and have since found home on the stationary bike that won't dump me onto a pile of gravel on the trail.
Cooking. Some of you who read this might laugh, but I really did used to be quite the little chef. In college, my roommates might have starved if not for me and my mother-donated recipe box. But somewhere along the way, I got lazy. Actually, let's "euphemism" this and say "cultural" in wanting to try out all different kinds of restaurants.
Farsi. Yeah, I used to speak it. So what if I was 5, but rumor has it that this girl was bilangual at the early age, until my second language was neglected in the home. Kinda not my fault, but still.
Makeup. I don't know if its my inability to do my own makeup, or just my skins inability to wear it proudly anymore, but when I look back at pictures from my earlier days of makeup wearing, it just looked better back then. Maybe because I used to spend an hour getting ready to go to the grocery store, and 2 if I was actually going somewhere there might be a camera. Either way, rest assured though, that I still can do other people's makeup. Feel free to hire me for your upcoming wedding or event.
I could go on. But my right arm is making it difficult to type from pretending that I'm still an all-star pitcher...
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