July 30, 2007
Right on schedule, my mini-girls dinner group met up at CPK (again) this past Friday. Clearly, we are creatures of habit.
Conversations were all over the place...from houses to jobs to tales of our recent vacations. And eventually they led into a land I have not yet crossed into...marriage. As a bystander during an "in-laws" conversation, I felt the need to propose the question, "So when do you start calling your in-laws Mom & Dad?"
This is when I found out (again) that my family is abnormal. I immediately received the response "Never" in unison from both.
In my family, my grandparents are known as Mom & Dad to all daughter and son in-laws. I don't remember it ever being any differently. And then I wondered, what if my aunt had married someone who didn't feel comfortable doing that...would it be looked down upon that "Mom & Dad" were only Carole & Arnold to him?
And as if there aren't enough other things to worry about when thinking about marriage, I now have to worry about what to call the in-laws, and what my non-existent husband will call my parents? Will they even want to be called Mom & Dad? What if my Dad, after being referred to as Nas, says "Call me Dad." And what if invisible husband says, "Nah, you're not my dad."
Oh boy oh boy...I'm furthering my research into this topic...
These sites are pro first name...
weddingideas.com
http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/marriage/msg0822265816809.html
The consensus here was, "I already have a Mom & Dad...and these strange people are not my parents!"
I'm happy to say that Fox News did a story on this...and I quote Daniel Altiere..."Traditionally, "Mom" and "Dad" were what you called your new parents-in-law. This was determined through solid scientific research; I asked my parents."
To my surprise, I think I'd still have to conclude (based on a panel of people questioned today) that it is more common to call the in-laws Frank and Jane (assuming these were their names) than it is to call them Mom & Dad.
There must be other families besides mine and Daniel Altiere's that go with the latter! After all, in Father of the Bride, Brian goes from calling Annie's father George, to Dad, right after the engagement, so it can't be that strange...
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6 comments:
I think this is a normal thing and it depends on the family. However, in my family's case my mom called my dad's mom grandma and vice-versa -- so the whole family used grandma collectively instead of mom. Just depends maybe. But, normal.
With that said, I don't think I will have to worry about calling the in-laws anything.
I don't think I could ever call anybody else "Mom" or "Dad" other than my mom and dad. That's me though!
Haha, Adam and I were just discussing this. I used to call my in-laws "Hey" or "Umm" or "You." And I think they called me the same. Still, we had a great time, firing off guns at campaign posters and smoking cigars and drinking lots of beer in the snow and stuff.
I call my in-laws Cindy and Allan just as I have for the past 11 years.
I think that Allan once said that I could call him Dad but I just laughed like he was making a joke and quickly moved onto the next topic.
I think that calling you in-law Mom and Dad is old fashion.
I am right there with your family! I would like to call Tim's parents Mom and Dad and we aren't even married yet. They seem to REALLY want me to call them Fred and Susie though. I have an aversion to using people's names, possibly a phobia if such one exists... and don't ask me why because I really don't know.
I'd say you shouldn't base things off Steven Martin movies, but hey, who am I—just a crazy daughter-in-law who calls her in-laws Ooooy and Vey.
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